What's happened to me

It's been a while.  Because my news hasn't been "good," I've been reluctant to post.  I kept waiting for a change for the better, but it never came as I thought it would.  So now it's time to face reality and bring you up to date.

The year 2014 was a traumatic one for me.  Nope, I didn't get cancer and I didn't get divorced--nothing quite that horrible. But I did experience a couple events that took their toll on me, emotionally and physically.  I'll tell you about them some time later. I've been on the road to recovery ever since, and it's been a bit bumpy.

I'm not a Size 6 anymore, nor am I a fine specimen of physical fitness and vitality.  I'm now closer to a Size 10, and I hurt all over most of the time.

By early in 2015, I realized something about my health had changed.  I had totally inexplicable aches and pains, fatigue, occasional loss of concentration, and depression.  By June my doctor had ruled out rheumatoid arthritis, thyroid problems, and other likely diseases.  What was left was a diagnosis of fibromyalgia.  I'd never really believed in this "syndrome" before, but all the signs started falling into place as I learned more about it.

Fibromyalgia has changed my life and started me on a whole new journey (adventure?) of learning to cope and learning to accept new limitations.  For those of you who don't fully understand this condition, stay tuned; I'm writing a book about it.  Of course, there are plenty of books on fibromyalgia out there already, but this one will be in my voice, written for my friends and their friends.  It seems to be a "baby boomer" disease--that is, it was given an official name just a few decades ago, even though the symptoms have been around for centuries--so you'll be hearing more about it from all directions in the next 20 years.

Meanwhile, I'm adjusting to a new "normal."  It's more important than ever for me now to get enough sleep, to avoid stress, to keep good nutritional habits, and to respect my physical limits.  Since my diagnosis a year ago, I've had my left knee worked on (it WAS a meniscus tear after all!), had a bizarre and painful infection of my ear cartilage, and had my Achilles tendon sliced to facilitate removal of a bone spur beneath it.  Things are healing, I think, and I remain optimistic that once again I'll be able to feel my age (63 now) instead of feeling like I'm 90.

After being non-weight-bearing on my right foot all winter (due to the Achilles surgery), I'm now getting moderately active again.  I've started back to yoga--in a chair--and I am cautiously and slowly walking about 6-10,000 steps a day according to my Fitbit.  I miss my sports--kayaking, riding, cross-country skiing, hiking, and dog agility--and I continue to work toward that day when I can resume them again. 

As for my diet, I eat well--not too much--and still love my Greek yogurt, brown rice, wine and beer!  The lack of activity helped me pack on about 15 pounds, which I expect will come off in their own good time.  I am SOOOOOOOO GLAD I wrote Bucket List Weight Loss because I can now refer back to the one "method" that worked so miraculously for me...and I know it will work again.

If you're still struggling with weight and self image, I encourage you to get the book or RE-READ the one you already bought.  And stay tuned for more updates on coping with the aging process!
Life is still a beautiful experience if you make it such!

Oh....my book is still available at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Bucket-List-Weight-Loss-Manning/dp/148269414X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1399328137&sr=1-1&keywords=bucket+list+weight+loss

Help!  I've fallen and I can't get up (yet)!

It was eight days ago I messed up my left knee while out cavorting with the dogs one morning.  I don't even know what or when it happened...but that night I could scarcely walk, and the situation hasn't markedly improved over the past week.

So I'm bummed.  The knee is what has set me back twice in the past two years now, and it's getting old.  No, it's not arthritis.  No, it's not a meniscus tear.  I've had all that checked out with MRIs and the works.  It's mostly likely a minuscule piece of SOMETHING floating around in there, and every so often it floats to the wrong spot and wreaks havoc.  A very good young physical therapist at VA gave me an innovative exercise that eliminated the pain for a long while.  I mean, the knee was perfect.  And then...last Monday the injury...and here we go again.

When your knee hurts, you wince with every step and walk funny.  That makes your hips, back and feet hurt.  Your legs hurt.  Your shoulders hurt because you're tensing with anticipatory pain as you move. Pretty soon you're walking--or shuffling--like a 90-year-old person, right?  Of course you all know this.  Anyone over the age of 40 knows what it's like.  And of course it seems to get worse with age.

But should we really accept these aches and pains as part of aging?  I think not!  There's too much we can do these days to help ourselves eliminate, minimize, or at least manage pain.  I could spend a fortune on essential oils, supplements, turmeric, Epsom salts and whatever...and those may help me as much as my Excedrin.  What I really want to do, however, is get to the root cause of the growing pain, and fix it at the source.  So I'm exploring options. 

To start with, I'm considering dietary changes. I hate the very thought of having to FORCE myself to stick to any regimen (that really goes against my concepts in Bucket List Weight Loss, which stresses "intuitive eating").  But something in my life is causing excessive connective tissue inflammation, and I'm suspecting food sensitivities.  So I'm cutting out--or certainly cutting back on--sugar for a while.  Maybe 3 weeks.  Just long enough that I can see if there's any difference.  It's scary, because sugar is out there everywhere.   But my motivation is no longer just about looking good or seeing the scale drop.  Now it's about my future ability to move, to play, to train my dogs, ride my horses, and live the life that's normal for me.

What's your motivation to lose weight or improve your health?  Don't say it's a high school reunion or your daughter's upcoming wedding or a vacation to Hawaii.  Make your picture much bigger.  Make it your bucket list item....something that will satisfy you and help you stay fit to live the rest of your life the way you choose.  It's your body, your life, and your choice.  Choose to stay where you are and get worse....or choose to make yourself better and happier.

So I've been away from the scale for a couple days--yes, I've fallen, and I can't get up yet.  But I will.  When I can step onto the Wii without wincing, and stand up straight and tall for my balance test, I will do so again.  Until then, just getting to that point is my new goal.  In the meantime....goodbye, sugar plums!

Hunger at bedtime

Last night I sat in bed playing Scrabble on my iPad before turning off the reading light.  It's a nightly ritual that helps me unwind and quiet my mind so I can effortlessly drift off to sleep.  Hubby was already lying down with eyes closed and reading light off. 

Suddenly.....GROWOWOWLLLLLLLLL.

"What's that?" he said, thinking one of the dogs on our feet is having a nightmare.

"It's my stomach," I replied, relishing a secret delight in the sound.

"You okay?"  he asked.

"Yup."  Why was I so smugly gleeful?  Because I knew I'd taken care of myself, had made it through the evening without ingesting any 6,000-calorie "snacks," and would promptly fall asleep with clear conscience and a calm gut.  Plus...I would awaken in the morning feeling refreshed (without a food hangover), energized, and prepared to see happy numbers when I stepped on the scale .

One of my favorite Bucket List Weight Loss concepts is #4:  "Hunger is good."  Hunger, however, is an acquired taste, like single-malt Scotch or craft beers (here I go again on alcohol...)  You have to learn what it is, what you're feeling and why, and what it can do for you.

If you're like me (and I already know you are), you feel different types of hunger at different times.  Here are my main types:

• #1. That acidy sensation of an "empty" stomach after a huge meal about six hours earlier.
• #2. The growly, truly hollow feeling of a stomach that doesn't have anything to do.
• #3. The "low blood sugar" feeling of light-headedness, sweating and mild nausea..

The only sensation I really feel obligated to acknowledge is the "low blood sugar."  There's a stark difference between feeling acidy or growly and feeling weak and light-headed.  I try to avoid getting to #3, because that's my body telling me I've waited a tad too long to nourish it, and I'd better give it something of value in a hurry to keep it functioning.

Learning to identify and react appropriately to hunger takes a lot of UN-learning of conditioned responses.  Throughout our lives we've practiced the philosophy of "eat when hungry."  Our mealtime lectures were about starving children in Africa.  Our Depression-era parents (many of whom experienced true deprivation hunger) wanted to protect us from ever feeling hunger.  As a result, our first response to a hunger sensation in our gut is "I gotta eat" or even "I get to eat now."  It's like a ringing phone or a clanging alarm clock.  It elicits a learned reaction from us, and we feel we need to do something about it immediately.

But when I'm all tucked in bed at 11pm, with cozy jammies, clean sheets, my husband, several dogs and an iPad, it's just way too much bother to disrupt them all, get up, go downstairs to the kitchen and "have a little something" to quell my #2 hunger.  Besides, the last thing my gut needs at this time of night is more food to process.  I know I'll sleep much better, and my gut will be more rested and refreshed, if I just turn off the light and get prone.

That's why I'm sitting here now at 6:30am in pre-dawn darkness.  Hubby and dogs all went back to bed after the 6am feeding; that's the ritual.  But I don't require any more sleep this morning because I went to bed hungry and actually rested my body all night.  And in a few minutes I'll go downstairs and weigh in on the Wii, expecting positive results.  What a great way to start the day!

Embrace your #1 and #2 hunger!  It means you're in control!!

Ouch.  Ooh!  Ughghghggh...
So I overdid it with the exercise yesterday.  I was feeling so good about having completed some very major projects in my life that I let loose all my energy...and today I'm paying the price for overindulgence in the energy expenditure department.

Really, 43 minutes on the exercise bike (one episode of "Mad Men" via Netflix on my iPad) would have been enough. 
But when Don Draper's teenage daughter caught him in bed with the neighbor lady....well, I just had to watch a little more of the next episode.   Pretty soon I'd been recumbent peddling for 60 minutes nonstop.  By then it was 8am and time to walk the dogs.  So the four of us (three dogs and me) stampeded outside to do about five loops of our driveway.  Again, I was feeling good and got carried away...

• Jog 50 steps
• Grapevine 50 steps
• Jog 75 steps
• Sidestep 50 steps one side, 50 steps the other side
• High knees 50 steps
• Jog 50 steps
• Etc.

It was the "etc." that did me in. By mid-afternoon I realized I'd inflamed both knees.

  I meant to take some Excedrin (my drug of choice) but never got around to it.  So by 11pm I needed a crane to lift me into bed.  Lessons learned:

• EVERYTHING IN MODERATION
• STAY AHEAD OF MUSCLE PAIN with anti-inflammatories when necessary
• DO NOT JOG IN SNOW BOOTS! (Not even my wonderful Keens)

The good news:  I was back down to 158 pounds this morning.  Hoping for a "whoosh" some time this week.

Drink your water and keep moving, even if it's just one little muscle at a time.  And while you're sitting there wiggling your toes, order a copy of Bucket List Weight Loss for a friend or relative.  At about $10, it's a great stocking stuffer that could change their lives.

Click here to order the book.

The Miracle Drink
Shame on me!  I missed my weigh-in yesterday because I had to be up and out the door by 7:30am.. Today I paid the price.  The scale was back up to 159.7, probably because I hardly drank any water at all yesterday and topped off the night with an Irish coffee and a salty cheese sandwich.  The fact that I hadn't eaten all day didn't help me at all.  My body only responded to what I DID eat, and it was the wrong thing at the wrong time, which threw my system completely off.

Water is just about the greatest gift we can give our bodies.  When we go all day without drinking, as I did yesterday because I was so busy running around town for 12 hours, our bodies build up toxins that just sit there making us feel worse.  The body is, after all, like a miraculous machine, which needs coolants and lubrication as much as any other engine.  If you fail to quench your car's thirst for coolants and oil, it will eventually burn up and quit working.  Our bodies are the same way.

Don't wait until you're thirsty to drink water.  Start with small sips throughout the day....just enough to refresh your mouth.  As you swallow it, feel the coolness trickling down your esophagus and distributing itself through your digestive organs.  Within seconds you'll also feel it affect your brain, bringing added alertness to your thinking processes.  I've found it to be better and quicker at reviving me than a bottle of 5-Hour Energy or an espresso.  Plus, it doesn't give me the shakes or make me irritable...and it's a lot cheaper than any other elixir!

When I told my massage therapist last week that I was stiff and sore every morning when I got out of bed, she asked me how much water I was drinking.  I fibbed and said, "About 64 ounces a day," when it was really more like 40 at the most.  She told me to drink more water, and that I was probably dehydrated.  I do recall that when I weight 142 pounds I didn't hurt anywhere....and those were the days when I was drinking nearly two gallons of water each day.  Hmm...maybe there really is a correlation!

Anyway, water is one of the keys in my 11 concepts for Bucket List Weight Loss.  In fact, it's #11.  I guess maybe I saved the best and easiest one for last.

This is fixing to be a rough week, weight wise.  I'll be doing all the baking and food prep for a large party next Sunday, so I'll at least be tasting things that aren't good for me while I'm in the kitchen.  To prepare, I'll mentally rehearse my day each morning right before I get up  I'll plan to be hungry, to drink water, to exercise, to walk the dogs, and to care less about the food I'm preparing than the people for whom I'm preparing it.

It's getting to be a rough time of year for all of us who are trying not to gain weight.  Keep reminding yourself that Christmas is not about cookies and fudge.
It's about the birth of a savior.  The gift of Christmas is just as great whether or not we have spritz cookies and chocolate covered pretzels.

Feeling stronger every day

The scale forgave me this morning for the Bailey's Irish Cream I lapped up before bed last night. I am down to 157.9.  As I mentioned in Bucket List Weight Loss, I weigh in front of the TV with the Nintendo Wii.  It not only presents you (gently) with your daily weight and bodyfat percentage, but it also provides a graph showing your weight changes over the past few days.  I love seeing the steady downward trend!  It's a potent visual reminder that what I'm doing really is working.

The more reminders we receive, the more likely we are to continue the trend.  That's one of the reasons daily weighing is so crucial.  When we don't actually see the numbers, it's easy for us to coast along in denial.  The scale tells the truth. So does the Wii graph.  So does the Wii's little animated voice that says either "That's great!" or "That's overweight."

If you've ever lost a lot of weight, you know how fun it is to receive the comments from people.  That's good reinforcing feedback too.  Seeing, hearing and feeling our weight loss successes all reinforce the good feelings we have about ourselves.  They say that if you hear something enough times, you'll eventually start to believe it.  That's how it is with compliments about your weight loss.  When enough people say to you,  "Gosh, you're looking great!" or "Wow, you're so skinny," you'll eventually start to believe it.  You'll start FEELING and ACTING like a thin person....eating like a thin person, and making the same dietary and activity choices as a thin person.  As they say, success breeds success.

Along the way--while you're waiting for those compliments to start coming--go ahead and treat yourself to something that will make you feel good about yourself NOW.

I got my haircut today, and I feel like a new person.  Other suggestions:  a manicure and/or pedicure, a new makeup product, a piece of jewelry that's different from the style you usually wear.  Give yourself a facial.  If you can afford one, hire a personal trainer.  Do things you know your inner thin person would likely do. 

Tomorrow I'll probably be back up, due to the leftover turkey dressing I had for dinner.  A double no-no for me, as I try to avoid bread (particularly bread soaked in butter and turkey grease!) and salty stuff.  However, I did work out this morning, and I did take the dogs for a couple very energetic walks.  One of them is snoring in her crate behind me right now.  I guess I tired her out.  Maybe  that's why my eyes are going closed right now too.  Time for bed!

Day 4 of Recovery:  Changes in the wind!

This morning I was down to 159.8.  How I long for the scale to say 145 again!  At least I know for sure it can happen...and will again.  In the meantime, I already feel more energy and even got by on two less hours of sleep last night.

In fact, I started a new (or re-started an old) morning routine today: getting up at 6am to work out in the basement after feeding the dogs. Usually my hubby takes care of this task and lets me slumber for another two hours.  But this week I've been getting up to help with the new dog, and this morning I decided to just STAY UP and go to the basement to work out.
I cherish that quiet time down there, which I share only with Don Draper and the rest of the "Mad Men" staff via Netflix on my iPad.  Each episode is 43 minutes--a perfect workout on the elliptical or exercise bike.  This morning I threw in some abdominal work on the exercise ball to start regaining some core strength.

Two hours later I was at the massage therapist's, indulging in my twice-monthly regimen.  I used to consider massage an extravagance, but have talked myself into considering it a necessary part of my health maintenance budget.  Age is definitely catching up with me, and muscles get out of whack with much less effort.  A combination of yoga (strengthening, stretching, and balance) and massage makes it possible for me to keep moving (Bucket List Weight Loss Concept #7).  Believe me, without them I'd be more crippled than most of you who are older than I am.

In fact--you're sitting down, right?  Wiggle your toes.  Just stretch them up and down.  Feels good, doesn't it?  If you don't have toes (and even if you do), rotate your ankles.  Now do some sitting leg raises.  Tighten your quads.  Now tighten your butt.  Now roll your pelvis under and out, under and out.  Feels really good, yes?  Careful movement--even a little--can feel wonderful. 

More movement feels even better.  Flex and enjoy whatever muscles you have, and feel your body at work.  THIS IS EXERCISE!!  It warms your body, gets the blood circulating, and revives you from the inside out.  And you don't even need to work up a sweat to achieve some of the benefits.  Remember, your body was designed for MOVEMENT, not for sitting still.  So move whatever you can, and keep it in motion.

More changes: tomorrow I'm getting a haircut.  Last summer I had it radically layered, and recently I've been looking like an unkempt cocker spaniel as the layers grow out oh-so-slowly.  Enough is enough.

So what changes have you made today?  Empower yourself to have a better tomorrow.