"Ohmygod, thank you, thank you, thank you."
"It's not as bad as I thought it would be."
"See, I told you. Only one problem now, though."
"You may not have any dramatic weight loss by tomorrow."
"That's okay, at least I know where I'm starting now."
"So how much DID you gain?"
"You don't know?"
"No, of course I don't know. I'm a SCALE. I don't read and I don't judge."
"I'm up 10 pounds from a year ago. Weird thing is, I still wear the same size clothes, although they're more snug."
"Uh huh. So, you gonna lose it again?"
"Of course. Piece of cake."
"Oh, yeah. I can lose it in a couple weeks."
"WHOA!! I doubt that!"
"Well, if I really try hard--if I crash it off--I could do it in three or so."
"And it'll come back fast if you lose it that fast."
"So are you saying I shouldn't even try?"
"Heck, no! I'm saying just go about your business. Live your life the way you know you're supposed to. Act like an adult. Take responsibility for your health and your diet. It'll come off. Why not set a goal of two pounds a week? You can probably do that."
"No, that's not enough. I want to be 10 pounds lighter by tomorrow!"
"You won't be. You'll get on me tomorrow, get depressed that you didn't lose 10 pounds, and then go drown your sorrows with a pastry overdose."
"So what should I do?"
"Keep track of your calories today and drink lots of water. Even if you weigh more tomorrow, it'll be water weight. You'll actually be thinner. TRUST ME."
"Maybe I shouldn't even weigh myself tomorrow then."
"Ah ah ah....I want to see you back here tomorrow morning before you eat breakfast. You can cuss at me if you don't like the numbers. But you still have to trust me. Watch your calories today, drink lots of water, and you will be skinnier tomorrow morning. Then we'll talk some more..."
To be continued . . .
Get the e-book for $2.99 at Amazon.com