Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Conversation with a scale (Part II)

"Ohmygod, thank you, thank you, thank you."

"For what?"

"It's not as bad as I thought it would be."

"See, I told you.  Only one problem now, though."

"What's that?"

"You may not have any dramatic weight loss by tomorrow."

"That's okay, at least I know where I'm starting now."

"So how much DID you gain?"

"You don't know?"

"No, of course I don't know.  I'm a SCALE.  I don't read and I don't judge."

"I'm up 10 pounds from a year ago.  Weird thing is, I still wear the same size clothes, although they're more snug."

"Uh huh.  So, you gonna lose it again?"

"Of course.  Piece of cake."

"You sure?"

"Oh, yeah.  I can lose it in a couple weeks."

"WHOA!!  I doubt that!"

"Well, if I really try hard--if I crash it off--I could do it in three or so."

"And it'll come back fast if you lose it that fast."

"So are you saying I shouldn't even try?"

"Heck, no!  I'm saying just go about your business.  Live your life the way you know you're supposed to.  Act like an adult.  Take responsibility for your health and your diet.  It'll come off.  Why not set a goal of two pounds a week?  You can probably do that."

"No, that's not enough.  I want to be 10 pounds lighter by tomorrow!"

"You won't be.  You'll get on me tomorrow, get depressed that you didn't lose 10 pounds, and then go drown your sorrows with a pastry overdose."

"So what should I do?"

"Keep track of your calories today and drink lots of water.  Even if you weigh more tomorrow, it'll be water weight.  You'll actually be thinner.  TRUST ME."

"Maybe I shouldn't even weigh myself tomorrow then."

"Ah ah ah....I want to see you back here tomorrow morning before you eat breakfast.  You can cuss at me if you don't like the numbers.  But you still have to trust me.  Watch your calories today, drink lots of water, and you will be skinnier tomorrow morning.  Then we'll talk some more..."

To be continued . . .

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Monday, October 14, 2013

Conversation with a scale

"I'm afraid to get on you."


"Because I haven't done it for three weeks, and I'm sure I've gained weight."

"Will NOT getting on me make the weight go away?"

"No, but I can pretend I haven't gained the weight."

"Pretending is for children.  You're living in denial."

"But I'd just rather not know about my weight gain."

"You already know about it; that's why you don't want to get on me."

"Yes, but I just don't want to SEE it on the scale."

"Would you rather SEE it in the mirror?"


"Then get on the scale. It will be easier to see your status here than to look at yourself in the mirror after you've gained an additional five pounds."

"But I'm afraid I'll get depressed if I know the truth."

"Like, you're not depressed already?  Come on, you have been OBSESSING about me for the past couple weeks!  Yet you're afraid to get close to me!  Your fear is making you fatter!"

"Can't I just starve myself for a couple days before I get on you?"

"No!  That will be worse.  First, you'll never do it.  Second, what if you starved yourself and then found out you weighted WAY more than you thought?  You'll shoot yourself!  So you might as well weigh yourself now.  It won't be any better or worse tomorrow.  It's right now that counts."

"I'm afraid of the numbers I'll see."

"They are numbers.  I'm a scale, not a human.  I'm a machine.  Besides, you are what you are.  You will weigh the same today whether you get on me or you might as well climb on and find out those numbers!"

"Shouldn't I wait till I have a big bowel movement?  And I think I'm retaining water."

"FANTASTIC!!  That means you'll be just that much lighter the next time you weigh, after you've lost all that waste.  That will make you feel wonderful!"

"Can't I wait just one day and get myself back on track?"

"No.  Today is the day you weigh.  Today is the day you start getting back control of your reality."

"Must I?"

"Yes.  Start acting like an adult with a brain.  Stepping on the scale is the most important step you'll take toward regaining control of your weight.  I want to see you here every day.  Let's start up a relationship again." be continued......

Lose the drama and just do it.